Married Life, Kenya, and Me

From the time I was a young girl, I dreamed about what married life would be like: husband goes to work at 8, you stay home, clean the house, cook amazing meals, and then promptly at 5:30 husband walk in, supper is served, dishes are washed, and you then relax together on the couch until time for bed. Oh dear, now that I read what I imagined, it sounds quite like an episode straight from Leave It To Beaver. I am no June Cleaver. I don't clean house in a dress, apron, and pearls. I don't greet my husband at the door when he comes home with a kiss (usually because I am coming home at the very same time). Married life in 2014 isn't quite the picture perfect Cleaver household I had imagined, but the reality of married life is far better. 

Is my house ALWAYS immaculate? Nope.
Is supper always ready at 5:30? Nope, but then again we aren't home some nights at 5:30 to have supper anyway.
Do I greet my husband wearing an apron and pearls? Nope. That hasn't even happened once, and those of you who know me best know that I love my aprons.

June Cleaver perfection is a standard that I will never achieve. It was an image Hollywood created to show the world what married life could be like if everything were perfect. Perfect husband, perfect kids, perfect jobs, perfect neighbors, and all the rest of it. The reality of the situation is this: marriage brings together two imperfect people striving to love each other as best as they can in spite of the imperfections. True love looks past the imperfections and seeks to build up the areas that need strengthening and encouraging the areas that are already strong to continue to grow and flourish. True love seeks to love God before your spouse and out of the overflow of your love from God flows your love for your spouse. 

I was blessed with a husband that understands the electricity in Kenya is NEVER reliable, supper will be ready when I call him to come eat, and the house may not be spotless but it is clean.

I was blessed with a husband that sees the beauty underneath a messy ponytail rather than perfectly styled and maintained hair. I was blessed with a husband that finds me more beautiful with flour on my face than all of the make up I possess. I was blessed with a husband that makes it a point to tell me daily that he finds me beautiful and that usually happens at those times when I feel the least beautiful.

I was blessed with a husband that remembers my love for fresh flowers. There are no words to describe how I feel seeing him walk in unexpectedly with a bunch of roses to put in the pitcher in the middle of the dining room table.

Married life with Jim isn't perfect. It can't be. That would be ridiculously naive of me to expect it. Two imperfect people joined together by a perfect God. There's the absolute reality of married life. We can't be perfect, but we can look past the imperfections and see the heart of our spouse and choose to build them up rather than focus on the areas lacking and tear them down. 

Married life in Kenya proves daily to be an interesting experience. It has been quite an adjustment... learning to be a wife, missionary, mom to many kids, and trying to figure out my exact place in the grand scheme of the ministry here. I love being married. I feel like I was created for this purpose... to be a wife, a mom, a mentor, a teacher, a confidante, and all of the other roles I have yet to discover. I only wish Jim and I had found each other sooner. God's timing is perfect and I know it all happened in His timing.

Speaking of God's timing, I can hardly believe that last year at this time I was just getting ready to come to Kenya for the first time. Things has completely turned themselves upside down and changed drastically. What I thought I knew about the direction of my life was proven quickly to be wrong and soon those ideas were replaced with a revealing of all that God had in store (well at least a small glimpse of that plan). It is mind blowing some days to think that in less than a year's time, I lost a job I thought I would keep for a significant time in the future, raised all of the funds needed to stay in Africa for three months, meet and fall madly in love with the man destined to be my husband, get engaged, come home and plan the wedding of my dreams, be welcomed into a new family with open loving arms, marry the man of my dreams, and move back to Kenya to begin my new life as a missionary and wife. It has been a whirlwind of activity and I would be lying if I said some of it wasn't a blur. It has been a crazy time, but time that I wouldn't trade for anything. 

I am looking forward to sharing more of our adventures and stories with you as the months progress for our time here in Kenya. I hope you will look forward to sharing them with us.

Until next time,
Melody and Jim